Aye, lad. We do have airports in Yorkshire. Loads of 'em. We've got more airports than most other counties. That's because it's a big bugger, your Yorkshire.
We're going from Robin Hood airport (Doncaster/Sheffield) a month today. They've just brought out a fillum to celebrate it. You can tell that Russel Crowe's not from Yorkshire. Where's his good Tetley's beer belly, for a start? He's from frigging Australia, which makes him eight times a southern idiot.
Flying from Yorkshire's a lot better experience, luv. They don't bring all that poncy southern perfume around - they just get off the sacred ground and trained Thomson's whippets come down the aisle and say "Aye oop, petal... d'ya want a drink with your Yorkshire pudding?"
Then you're off for a couple of weeks of foreign muck, with nerrie a chip buttie in sight (except in Sidari) and by heck, when that plane comes back flying over the muddy cart tracks, the pig pens, the gritty old mills, and the towering Pennines you know you're back in God's country and reet ready for a curry!
The aircrew are brilliant, too. You don't any of that fake posh "We'll be flying at an altitude of.." stuff. When you leave the sacred runway at Donny, he'll likely say "Reet you lot. First we're going oop, then we're going flat for a bit, then we're going down. Bit like Hull City."
When you're on final approach he'll probably say "We're just going over Barnsley - no need to panic, we'll be all reet when we scrape the pigeon shite of t' windscreen!"
Next year we're getting Air Yorkshire. The world's first low carbon-emission ferret-powered airline. Book now, but be warned - anybody from south of Donny goes to't back of queue!
Jim
Topic: This years prices (Read 43888 times)