It was even worse when we went to Corfu on AirUKIP last year from White Cliffs Airport Dover:
"Can I have some red wine, please?"
"No."
"Why's that?"
"We don't carry wine. It's foreign muck."
"Can I have a Stella?"
"No - it's Belgian."
"Champagne?"
"You must be joking - it's French."
"Toasted sandwich?"
"Toast?? Invented by the Romans, or, as we call them nowadays, the lazy good-for-nothing Italians."
"Vodka tonic?"
"Nope. Most Vodka comes from Poland or Russia and we don't want to support their economies, do we?"
"What have you got to eat?"
"Shepherd's pie."
"Vegetarian?"
"Shepherd's pie without the meat."
"Can you ask the captain why this is a five hour flight when it's about two and a half hours on other airlines?"
"That's easy. We fly down the channel and out into the Atlantic, then we loop round and along the Straits of Gibraltar, across the middle of the Mediterranean, take a steep left up the exact centre of the Adriatic and a quick dash into Corfu."
"Why?"
"We try not to fly over EU airspace. Too many stupid regulations."
"Like what?"
"Oh - Counting the wings and things like that."
"When I got on the plane - which is quite pretty with its Union Jack livery, by the way - I couldn't help noticing that it used to be called The Nigel Farage, but that's been painted out. Why was that?"
"Some people thought it'd never fly. D'you want a drink or a meal?"
"I won't bother, thanks."
"No problem. Here's your complimentary Daily Mail."