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Migrant Crisis - Bit of a controversial one

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tonyco1:

--- Quote from: tenbeech on April 06, 2016, 06:38:30 PM ---    One of my favourites.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IR9Zdgv2Kag

--- End quote ---
Very funny - well spotted.

Jimbo:
That's been around for ages, but it's a brilliant sketch!

The only problem is that that's the First Class service. Thomson cabin is more like:

"D'ya want owt?"
"Please may I have red wine?"
"Are you a pouf?"
"No."
"Have a can of Stella and three vodkas, then, like everybody else."
"But I'd like a red wine."
"Did you fill in your 194 page questionnaire designed-for-idiots survey?"
"Yes."
"Give it here. (READS) What's this? Only two stars for service on't aircraft? You've got the best-looking air crew in Yorkshire - including Roger who, to be fair, uses more perfume and make-up than a Turkish whore. TWO STARS? - Would you like a quicky in't toilets at back of t'plane?"
"No thanks."
"I knew you were a pouf."
"I don't think drinking wine is a reliable indicator of sexual preference."
"Ooooh - Get you, Mr Big Words and Tiny Dick. You're not from Donny, are you?"
"Actually, I was born in Leeds."
"Leeds. LEEDS? Leeds is to Donny like Beirut is to New York.Have you flown out of Leeds-Bradford airport on that Jet One and a Half? T'bloody runway's got a sudden hill on it and the plane's usually stuffed full of Marstons salesmen getting a bit above themselves."
"Do you know Gavin?"
"Course I do. He's another twatt. Now put your tray down unless you want a Stella and three vodkas in your lap."

tonyco1:

--- Quote from: Jimbo on April 06, 2016, 09:33:55 PM ---That's been around for ages, but it's a brilliant sketch!

The only problem is that that's the First Class service. Thomson cabin is more like:

"D'ya want owt?"
"Please may I have red wine?"
"Are you a pouf?"
"No."
"Have a can of Stella and three vodkas, then, like everybody else."
"But I'd like a red wine."
"Did you fill in your 194 page questionnaire designed-for-idiots survey?"
"Yes."
"Give it here. (READS) What's this? Only two stars for service on't aircraft? You've got the best-looking air crew in Yorkshire - including Roger who, to be fair, uses more perfume and make-up than a Turkish whore. TWO STARS? - Would you like a quicky in't toilets at back of t'plane?"
"No thanks."
"I knew you were a pouf."
"I don't think drinking wine is a reliable indicator of sexual preference."
"Ooooh - Get you, Mr Big Words and Tiny Dick. You're not from Donny, are you?"
"Actually, I was born in Leeds."
"Leeds. LEEDS? Leeds is to Donny like Beirut is to New York.Have you flown out of Leeds-Bradford airport on that Jet One and a Half? T'bloody runway's got a sudden hill on it and the plane's usually stuffed full of Marstons salesmen getting a bit above themselves."
"Do you know Gavin?"
"Course I do. He's another twatt. Now put your tray down unless you want a Stella and three vodkas in your lap."

--- End quote ---
Well that's spot on !!

Jimbo:
It was even worse when we went to Corfu on AirUKIP last year from White Cliffs Airport Dover:

"Can I have some red wine, please?"
"No."
"Why's that?"
"We don't carry wine. It's foreign muck."
"Can I have a Stella?"
"No - it's Belgian."
"Champagne?"
"You must be joking - it's French."
"Toasted sandwich?"
"Toast?? Invented by the Romans, or, as we call them nowadays, the lazy good-for-nothing Italians."
"Vodka tonic?"
"Nope. Most Vodka comes from Poland or Russia and we don't want to support their economies, do we?"
"What have you got to eat?"
"Shepherd's pie."
"Vegetarian?"
"Shepherd's pie without the meat."
"Can you ask the captain why this is a five hour flight when it's about two and a half hours on other airlines?"
"That's easy. We fly down the channel and out into the Atlantic, then we loop round and along the Straits of Gibraltar, across the middle of the Mediterranean, take a steep left up the exact centre of the Adriatic and a quick dash into Corfu."
"Why?"
"We try not to fly over EU airspace. Too many stupid regulations."
"Like what?"
"Oh - Counting the wings and things like that."
"When I got on the plane - which is quite pretty with its Union Jack livery, by the way - I couldn't help noticing that it used to be called The Nigel Farage, but that's been painted out. Why was that?"
"Some people thought it'd never fly. D'you want a drink or a meal?"
"I won't bother, thanks."
"No problem. Here's your complimentary Daily Mail."

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