Author Topic: News from Local Churches  (Read 19062 times)

don

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News from Local Churches
« on: May 04, 2009, 11:48:56 PM »
 

They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:


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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday..
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door...
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
 --------------- -----------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!

 







Offline Jules

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Re: News from Local Churches
« Reply #1 on: May 05, 2009, 12:27:31 AM »
Priceless as usual Don :D ;D
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Offline tonyco1

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Re: News from Local Churches
« Reply #2 on: May 05, 2009, 03:17:42 AM »
Talking of churches - Any new visitors should take a peek inside the local church.
All visitors are usually welcome and it is a brilliant sight inside!!
Happy Days in Agios Stefanos, Avliotes, Corfu!! TonyCo1

Offline Jules

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Re: News from Local Churches
« Reply #3 on: May 05, 2009, 12:38:56 PM »
Never been inside the church. Is it open all day or only at certain times?
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Offline Jules

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Re: News from Local Churches
« Reply #4 on: May 05, 2009, 12:41:20 PM »
Do they have candles to light in the church in San Stefanos?
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Offline Colin

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Re: News from Local Churches
« Reply #5 on: May 05, 2009, 03:27:44 PM »
Talking of churches - Any new visitors should take a peek inside the local church.
All visitors are usually welcome and it is a brilliant sight inside!!

Is there a dress code for entering the Church Tony? ie: are you allowed in, in shorts, or in my wife's case a sarong??



Offline Jules

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Re: News from Local Churches
« Reply #6 on: May 05, 2009, 04:07:32 PM »
Talking of churches - Any new visitors should take a peek inside the local church.
All visitors are usually welcome and it is a brilliant sight inside!!

Is there a dress code for entering the Church Tony? ie: are you allowed in, in shorts, or in my wife's case a sarong??
I would imagine that shoulders have to be covered up at least
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Offline stressed0506

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Re: News from Local Churches
« Reply #7 on: May 05, 2009, 11:33:40 PM »
whenever i have been in there has been no-one there but i do cover up. There are votive candles if you want to light one. It really is worth a look. I don't know if ts always open but every time i have been there it has been open.

Offline tonyco1

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Re: News from Local Churches
« Reply #8 on: May 06, 2009, 03:27:03 AM »
whenever i have been in there has been no-one there but i do cover up. There are votive candles if you want to light one. It really is worth a look. I don't know if ts always open but every time i have been there it has been open.
Thanks Stressed - yes to candles and a donation.
Respect should be shown and cover up a little - otherwise all welcome!!
Happy Days in Agios Stefanos, Avliotes, Corfu!! TonyCo1

Offline Jules

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Re: News from Local Churches
« Reply #9 on: May 06, 2009, 09:39:10 AM »
whenever i have been in there has been no-one there but i do cover up. There are votive candles if you want to light one. It really is worth a look. I don't know if ts always open but every time i have been there it has been open.
Thanks Stressed - yes to candles and a donation.
Respect should be shown and cover up a little - otherwise all welcome!!
Glad about the candles - I want to light one this year for my Mum  :)
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Offline tonyco1

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Re: News from Local Churches
« Reply #10 on: May 06, 2009, 04:12:27 PM »
whenever i have been in there has been no-one there but i do cover up. There are votive candles if you want to light one. It really is worth a look. I don't know if ts always open but every time i have been there it has been open.
Thanks Stressed - yes to candles and a donation.
Respect should be shown and cover up a little - otherwise all welcome!!
Glad about the candles - I want to light one this year for my Mum  :)
Linda does that as well!!

But - don't forget - All the nice girls love a candle! - or was that a sailor?? LOL
Happy Days in Agios Stefanos, Avliotes, Corfu!! TonyCo1

don

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Re: News from Local Churches
« Reply #11 on: May 06, 2009, 11:01:19 PM »
whenever i have been in there has been no-one there but i do cover up. There are votive candles if you want to light one. It really is worth a look. I don't know if ts always open but every time i have been there it has been open.
Thanks Stressed - yes to candles and a donation.
Respect should be shown and cover up a little - otherwise all welcome!!
Glad about the candles - I want to light one this year for my Mum  :)
Linda does that as well!!

But - don't forget - All the nice girls love a candle! - or was that a sailor?? LOL

Probably nun of those!

Offline tonyco1

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Re: News from Local Churches
« Reply #12 on: May 06, 2009, 11:59:42 PM »
whenever i have been in there has been no-one there but i do cover up. There are votive candles if you want to light one. It really is worth a look. I don't know if ts always open but every time i have been there it has been open.
Thanks Stressed - yes to candles and a donation.
Respect should be shown and cover up a little - otherwise all welcome!!
Glad about the candles - I want to light one this year for my Mum  :)
Linda does that as well!!

But - don't forget - All the nice girls love a candle! - or was that a sailor?? LOL

Probably nun of those!
Where is your Avatar Pic - is that Stamatis Apts?
Happy Days in Agios Stefanos, Avliotes, Corfu!! TonyCo1

don

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Re: News from Local Churches
« Reply #13 on: May 07, 2009, 01:05:12 AM »
whenever i have been in there has been no-one there but i do cover up. There are votive candles if you want to light one. It really is worth a look. I don't know if ts always open but every time i have been there it has been open.
Thanks Stressed - yes to candles and a donation.
Respect should be shown and cover up a little - otherwise all welcome!!
Glad about the candles - I want to light one this year for my Mum  :)
Linda does that as well!!

But - don't forget - All the nice girls love a candle! - or was that a sailor?? LOL

Probably nun of those!
Where is your Avatar Pic - is that Stamatis Apts?
Got it in one.... That's an idea, we could start a guess where's the avatar comp!

Offline tonyco1

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Re: News from Local Churches
« Reply #14 on: May 07, 2009, 01:23:29 AM »
whenever i have been in there has been no-one there but i do cover up. There are votive candles if you want to light one. It really is worth a look. I don't know if ts always open but every time i have been there it has been open.
Thanks Stressed - yes to candles and a donation.
Respect should be shown and cover up a little - otherwise all welcome!!
OK
Glad about the candles - I want to light one this year for my Mum  :)
Linda does that as well!!

But - don't forget - All the nice girls love a candle! - or was that a sailor?? LOL

Probably nun of those!
Where is your Avatar Pic - is that Stamatis Apts?
Got it in one.... That's an idea, we could start a guess where's the avatar comp!
Happy Days in Agios Stefanos, Avliotes, Corfu!! TonyCo1

 

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