B B Q's and WOMEN

[tonyco1]

BEFORE THE BBQ SEASON BEGINS FOR THIS YEAR  - A FEW GUIDELINES AND TIPS FOR THE MAN OF THE HOUSE
BECAUSE _ THERE IS NO PLEASING A WOMAN!!!
New Standard Operating Procedures released today --  please learn
BBQ RULES We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to
              the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly
              Bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.
Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat
Important again:
( THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.
 
 

[stressed0506]

How true it all is!

[tonyco1]

How true it all is!

I shall never understand women!!
We do the hard bit - after all!!

[Zimmer]

Aaagh BBQ's - in the UK!?  OMG - It's a macho man's opportunity to revert to Stoneage, burnt chicken with raw interiors ugh, missile hardened sausages and black burgers

[tonyco1]

Aaagh BBQ's - in the UK!?  OMG - It's a macho man's opportunity to revert to Stoneage, burnt chicken with raw interiors ugh, missile hardened sausages and black burgers

So that is the Zimmer way - but I am actually a talented chef and cook them nicely, (even if I say so myself),
I find the best way to do bulk chicken pieces, by the way is to cook them in the Oven first and finish on the BBQ to get the taste!!
That way, no raw meat and they stay moist. My sausages and burgers don't burn and I love to do Shish Kebabs.
The trouble is that the girls don't appreciate the artistry and hard work of the male chef!!

[Zimmer]

Aaagh BBQ's - in the UK!?  OMG - It's a macho man's opportunity to revert to Stoneage, burnt chicken with raw interiors ugh, missile hardened sausages and black burgers

So that is the Zimmer way - but I am actually a talented chef and cook them nicely, (even if I say so myself),
I find the best way to do bulk chicken pieces, by the way is to cook them in the Oven first and finish on the BBQ to get the taste!!
That way, no raw meat and they stay moist. My sausages and burgers don't burn and I love to do Shish Kebabs.
The trouble is that the girls don't appreciate the artistry and hard work of the male chef!!

Groan...no Tone I dont put BBQ's in the cooking class,it's a sort of boy scout playing chef type cooking..great fun on a beach in the sun,but distincly unattractive in a UK back garden

[Jules]

Aaagh BBQ's - in the UK!?  OMG - It's a macho man's opportunity to revert to Stoneage, burnt chicken with raw interiors ugh, missile hardened sausages and black burgers

So that is the Zimmer way - but I am actually a talented chef and cook them nicely, (even if I say so myself),
I find the best way to do bulk chicken pieces, by the way is to cook them in the Oven first and finish on the BBQ to get the taste!!
That way, no raw meat and they stay moist. My sausages and burgers don't burn and I love to do Shish Kebabs.
The trouble is that the girls don't appreciate the artistry and hard work of the male chef!!

Probbaly having a laugh at your artistry as its the only time men have an artistry streak in them lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[don]

Aaagh BBQ's - in the UK!?  OMG - It's a macho man's opportunity to revert to Stoneage, burnt chicken with raw interiors ugh, missile hardened sausages and black burgers

So that is the Zimmer way - but I am actually a talented chef and cook them nicely, (even if I say so myself),
I find the best way to do bulk chicken pieces, by the way is to cook them in the Oven first and finish on the BBQ to get the taste!!
That way, no raw meat and they stay moist. My sausages and burgers don't burn and I love to do Shish Kebabs.
The trouble is that the girls don't appreciate the artistry and hard work of the male chef!!

Probbaly having a laugh at your artistry as its the only time men have an artistry streak in them lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now Jules Men as well as women in GB have artistry in them................ Look in any town centre on Friday or Saturday at kicking out time! All it takes is a couple of units of alcohol!

[Jules]

Aaagh BBQ's - in the UK!?  OMG - It's a macho man's opportunity to revert to Stoneage, burnt chicken with raw interiors ugh, missile hardened sausages and black burgers

So that is the Zimmer way - but I am actually a talented chef and cook them nicely, (even if I say so myself),
I find the best way to do bulk chicken pieces, by the way is to cook them in the Oven first and finish on the BBQ to get the taste!!
That way, no raw meat and they stay moist. My sausages and burgers don't burn and I love to do Shish Kebabs.
The trouble is that the girls don't appreciate the artistry and hard work of the male chef!!

Probbaly having a laugh at your artistry as its the only time men have an artistry streak in them lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now Jules Men as well as women in GB have artistry in them................ Look in any town centre on Friday or Saturday at kicking out time! All it takes is a couple of units of alcohol!

Didn't like to think about the other type of artist lol!!!!

[zoe]

why do bbq always start in the garden and end in the garage with the rain pouring down outside

[Jules]

why do bbq always start in the garden and end in the garage with the rain pouring down outside

Thats called typical British weather lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SueLa]

Artistry !!! what a load of burgers!! and flipping your sausages

I don't think so!!!!

[don]

BBQ & Women... think I'll stick to sausages!!

[vikki]

A couple of years ago, we did a BBQ on Boxing Day.  It was great. 6 degrees outside,but lovely and sunny.
We had my brother and his family (he married an Aussie) and her sister and husband (obviously Australian too).
Most people buy snacks and nibbles (no rude comments please!!) at Christmas anyway,so it wasn't as much hassle as it would have been to prepare a meal for 11.

The weather was better than last years summer!!!!

Try it one year,its a good laugh.

Vikki

[tonyco1]

Artistry !!! what a load of burgers!! and flipping your sausages

I don't think so!!!!

I bought a new BBQ a year and a half ago for £75 from B&Q in their November sale, it was reduced 4 times - originally
£440, top of the range 3 x gas burner with griddle and warmer lid.
I clean the gril plates with my power washer and its clean in minutes!!

My BBQ's are v/popular as I spend a good bit of money on quality meat and do a big selection, not too many sausages & burgers!!
Sue - come round and I'll give you a sausage all right!!! LOL - and introduce you to the Burgermaster!!
No burnt offerings from me - I really am an artist in food!!